Entry tags:
a fishing date;
There were no impromptu trips to Sundermount, in fact. Merrill had holed herself up with the Eluvian, avoiding Hawke whenever possible. The Arulin'Holm stayed at the estate, locked away somewhere, and the Dalish woman didn't want to see or hear from Hawke without good cause. Which was understandable (upsetting, but understandable), and she let Varric and Isabela take over Merrill's undertaking. They'd update her whenever possible and she was infinitely grateful, though she knew things couldn't stay that way forever. Eventually, they'd need to talk, and that would happen when Marian was good and ready. For now, she wasn't.
First on her mind was Anders and his mage underground. He would disappear for days on end, surfacing only to work in his clinic where he would refuse to go on any errands. Too busy, he'd say, occupied with his patients and his manifesto. It didn't stop him from pressing worn papers into her hands at every opportunity, the bastard. Her desk was full of Anders' scrawl, damning evidence if anyone should walk in and ask about it. She'd been certain to lock them in the bottom drawer, out of sight and out of mind, but she couldn't put him off any more than she could push aside the trouble she had with Merrill.
With her hands full of Kirkwall's smaller troubles - bandits, a few raiders on the outskirts, and a blood mage or two - she had nearly forgotten her plans with Cullen until she returned one night to a note on her desk at the end of the week. Even such a simple thing was enough to brighten her mood considerably and she packed that evening, though she wasn't to meet him for two more days.
She used the time to tell only a few that she'd be gone from the city, that no one was kidnapping her, and that she'd be very cross if she came back to find Kirkwall burning in her absence. Only Isabela and Varric gave her a hard time for her attempts at discretion, asking for details and gaining nothing.
By sunset on the second day, she was down by the docks to meet him, a pack slung over one arm and her blades across her shoulders, her eyes on the ships and the few workers lingering around. She couldn't be too careful, even now.
First on her mind was Anders and his mage underground. He would disappear for days on end, surfacing only to work in his clinic where he would refuse to go on any errands. Too busy, he'd say, occupied with his patients and his manifesto. It didn't stop him from pressing worn papers into her hands at every opportunity, the bastard. Her desk was full of Anders' scrawl, damning evidence if anyone should walk in and ask about it. She'd been certain to lock them in the bottom drawer, out of sight and out of mind, but she couldn't put him off any more than she could push aside the trouble she had with Merrill.
With her hands full of Kirkwall's smaller troubles - bandits, a few raiders on the outskirts, and a blood mage or two - she had nearly forgotten her plans with Cullen until she returned one night to a note on her desk at the end of the week. Even such a simple thing was enough to brighten her mood considerably and she packed that evening, though she wasn't to meet him for two more days.
She used the time to tell only a few that she'd be gone from the city, that no one was kidnapping her, and that she'd be very cross if she came back to find Kirkwall burning in her absence. Only Isabela and Varric gave her a hard time for her attempts at discretion, asking for details and gaining nothing.
By sunset on the second day, she was down by the docks to meet him, a pack slung over one arm and her blades across her shoulders, her eyes on the ships and the few workers lingering around. She couldn't be too careful, even now.
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She smirked. "I could have done without the disgusting bait or the trek out of the docks...but I'm sure these will be entirely worth our trouble." It went without saying that she could have just as easily settled on bringing him back without a basket between them.
"Very brave. People look at me and they think I'm the valiant one who runs into the Deep Roads to make my fortune. But my mother ran away from family and fortune to marry for love. If I'm even half so bold or lucky in my life, it will be a life well spent." She doubted she would be. The past several years had made that all too clear. But if she could content herself with something, that would be all right too.
Lips pressed into a thin line to keep herself from protesting or asking too many questions, she nodded. He had his reasons, and good ones, for not wanting to contact them. "I'm sorry, Cullen." What else could she say?
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He wrinkled his nose at the mention of the bait. He could have done without that, too. He doubted they would have caught much with anything less potent. "If they're not it will be a cruel trick, to smell good and taste awful."
His smile was fleeting. "I don't think boldness is a problem for you. Luck? That's always up in the air, isn't it?" He didn't foresee that sort of thing in his future. It wouldn't be bravery but foolhardiness, and it would very likely get someone besides him hurt if not killed.
"We all knew what I was getting into." It wasn't the full truth. There were many things he had not known, things no one who wasn't a Templar could know about the cost of the occupation. Despite that he knew he'd make the same decision. That rendered any benefit of hindsight moot. "It's better this way when the alternatives can be unspeakable."
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Her chuckle was mild as she washed one in the water she collected. "I'm certain they'll be fine. The Maker isn't so cruel as to do that." But she would be sore if it turned out that way. She pried off another apron, careful to look for the unappetizing bits this time.
"Bold enough to go after something as dangerous or uncertain? I don't know." She might have been teasing. "I don't trust luck. You make your own path in life and perhaps it works out. We'll see." She didn't put much stock in the idea. Marriage was a distant and unthinkable idea. Mage or not, her blood had magic in it. Who would consent to that risk willingly?
Her instinct was to question. She held it in until she finished the crab she was working on, and then she turned to him. "Is it, though? Is it really better to settle on the unknown?"
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"Perhaps not, but they do say He has a sense of humor." He washed out what remained inside that didn't belong and broke the crab open with a decisive crack. He had three left in his little pile. His mouth was already starting to water.
"Luck isn't to be trusted. It seems the moment you seek to rely on it is the moment it runs out." Most people whom he knew who trusted to luck either wound up dead or in some other sort of trouble. It was a lazy man's substitute for ambition.
He didn't hesitate in his answer, his expression surprisingly open for it. "Yes, it is. I know what can happen first-hand when something goes badly wrong, and I've seen the damage leverage on Templars can do, how much it can compromise them. I'd sooner die badly than subject my parents to danger, and my father would disown me if I ever allowed sentiment over him or Mother to dictate my actions. Wherever they are, outside of Denerim or at the Maker's side, it's better than anything I have to offer them from Kirkwall."
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"I don't want to trust in my kind of luck, anyway. You've seen some of it tonight." She pried off some of the gummy, fatty bits they couldn't eat. "I'm only Champion after several gruesome deaths, nearly losing a friend, and getting a sword shoved into me." Her smile was jovial despite the subject matter. "No, I think I'll stick to relying on myself, lest something comedically tragic happen... Like finding that gigantic, monstrous crabs are actually inedible and poisonous."
She shook her head at herself. "Maker, listen to me. I'm blaming these silly little creatures for making me think of nothing else but food." She grabbed up the last one to start working on it.
"I'm not saying you should bring them here. But you can't send them a letter or let them know that you're all right?" She started to hold up her hands, remembered how filthy they were, and set them right back down on the counter. "I understand not wanting to put your parents in danger. I do. But I've also seen what happens when you spend years in silence and wonder 'what ifs' in your spare time." She shook her head placatingly. "It's just a thought, Cullen."
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"Wouldn't that be a kick in the teeth? All the effort of trapping one and killing it, and not only does it not taste good but one bite of the flesh is deadly. That sounds like my luck. We had best never test ours together. No telling what terrible things could come of it." Possibly something worse than their dockside encounters, he thought.
"It's not something I haven't thought from time to time. Perhaps I'm being paranoid, but...sometimes when you shut a door it's best not to open it again." It had been such a long time now that at times he thought any such efforts would do more harm than good.
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"I suppose we can't go dragon hunting, then. One of us would inevitably fall into the nest and wake up the mother. And then whoever's left will have to explain to the rest of the city why they haven't returned." She rolled her eyes. "'It was just supposed to be a simple hunt, Meredith, I swear!'" A smirk found its way onto her lips. "And then she'd smite me in the middle of the Gallows. So, yes, let's avoid that."
Her pause only lasted a moment, but then she nodded, relenting. "That's also true." Family was different but she could acquiesce on this point, at least. The last of her batch was broken in half and she set the plate mounted with food aside. She grabbed the pot carefully, pulling it down from the counter. "I'm going to dump this and wash my hands. Grab the other when you're done and we'll finally get to see how well we've managed to cook them."
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He wasn't far behind her. He cleaned the one he had been waving at her and cracked it, then closed the short distance to pick up the pot from the floor and followed. He didn't want to wind up wandering her house or the yard to try to figure out where to dump the water.
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She led him out the side door to the small courtyard they had, though it resembled little more than an open yard with a small garden pressed against the estate. It was still dark, but the stars had already begun to fade from view, little by little. Though the water they had was dirty with what was washed off from their meal, it was still water and could still be used. Hawke carefully dumped the first pot over the few flowers there. She set the first pot aside and reached for his. "There's a bucket beside the well for us to use to wash our hands," she said quietly.
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He glanced up at the sky and offered over his burden when she reached for it. "Time flies," he murmured. Nodding he crossed to the dark shape he could just make out in the dim light from the stars. The moon was no longer visible. He dipped his hands in the bucket and scrubbed them together vigorously, all the way up to mid forearm before stepping back again.
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She suppressed the disappointment as much as she was able, dumping the second pot and stretching. Setting both by the door, she went to join him. "When do you need to be back?" It occurred to her that they'd been together all evening and she hadn't once thought to ask. She'd been too distracted to wonder before now. "I haven't kept you out too long, have I?"
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"As long as I'm back by morning muster, no one will send out a patrol. We've got a little time yet. The biggest thing is that I need to leave before dawn so no one sees me leaving. Once I reach the courtyard in front of the Chantry no one will think twice about me being in Hightown early in the morning." He glanced around at the walls surrounding the yard. "I could always climb out the back way."
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"You won't go away hungry, then. Good." With a nod, she finished up washing her hands and gave the same appraising glance up toward the walls. "...You're mental if you think that's a good idea," she said with a smirk. "But it would probably ensure you get the least amount of attention. Just take a potion with you so that if you get hurt, you don't need to limp back to the Rose for one."
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"No, I will not go away hungry. We worked too hard for those crabs. I would have to make up some wretched excuse for dragging in late before missing out on that breakfast." He wasn't so much teasing about that part, particularly after their fights dockside.
"I'm not in armor." He spread his arms. "I'm lighter on my feet that way. It wouldn't be the first wall I've scaled in Kirkwall. I doubt it'll be the last. I won't turn down a potion, though. Speaking of that..." He reached up and lightly touched the dried blood on her face. "You still have something to tend."
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She laughed softly. "There's no getting between a man and his meal, not that I blame you. You can blame me for making you late by refusing to give that letter you needed." And that was assuming their little soiree at the Blooming Rose got back to Meredith. With any luck, it wouldn't, though she was almost certain some rumor would come out of that night, even if it was a paltry one.
Raising an eyebrow, she paused as his fingers brushed beneath the cut on her face. She'd forgotten. "It doesn't hurt. It's fine." At least she hadn't been bleeding profusely. "But I should clean it up anyway before someone fusses." She nodded her head back towards the estate, reaching up for his hand. "Come on, let's have some now so you don't need to rush to go."
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"Oh, yes, our great ruse. If need be, I shall. It's my hope I don't have to mention anything about that to Meredith at all." It would depend on how angry Aveline was about his getting mouthy with her guard.
"Yes, you should, or I'll be one of the ones fussing." He squeezed her hand and nodded, turning to head back inside with her. "I'm surprised my stomach isn't growling as loudly as an enraged mabari. We have more than worked up our appetites tonight."
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She nodded. "I hope you won't have to but that crab comment might follow us both into the Void for all I know." That would be all she'd need to hear from Aveline. She could barely suppress a roll of her eyes at the thought.
Huffing quietly, she tugged him along. "Don't start. I didn't get my leg sliced open, remember." Although, she supposed she deserved it for all of the looks she had given him. Her smile sharpened at the edges. "Between the actual outing and then fighting for our heads, I would say you're right."
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"Maker." He dragged his free hand down the side of his face. "I don't know what came over me with that. I was just so flustered. She does that. She glares at you, and it's instant fluster. I don't know if it's a Coterie skill or something she picked up running the brothel. It's bloody inconvenient is what it is."
He was close on her heels. "Which is completely healed now, and I got a new pair of pants in the bargain. How often does anyone get to say that?" He nodded and cleared his throat. "Of course I'm right. It won't do me any good if I starve before I can truly gloat." The smell coming from the kitchen had his mouth watering.
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"That's the point. If you couldn't lose your head with her, she wouldn't be so effective at running the place. I've never had that problem with other members of the Coterie, though." She grinned and shook her head. "I'm no more welcome there than you are, trust me."
She gave him a once-over glance, raising an eyebrow. "Tighter pants, too, actually." As if she hadn't noticed. "I'll wait a week before believing we lucked out, though," she said as she opened the door for him. One look inside had her catching her dog laying beneath the counter where they had been working, tongue lolling out. They weren't the only one anticipating their fine meal. "Oh, poor you. We kept you waiting."
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"I suppose that's comforting," he said with a chuckle. "I'd be concerned about spending time with anyone in good with one of the city's largest criminal organizations, no matter how charming the company."
There went the flush, all the way up the back of his neck. He didn't think the fit was that noticeable. "They're also a little short," he murmured. "I was able to hide that in the boots. It would have been more disturbing if they managed an exact fit." He nodded agreement about the rest of it. If there were going to be rumors, they'd take a little time to build traction.
He grinned outright at the sight of the dog. "To his credit, he didn't just help himself."
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Hawke's smile was nearly wicked at the blush. "You tend to notice things when you're pressed against someone. Or when you're tending to their back." Had she not been that close, she probably wouldn't have thought they were any different from the ones he had worn previously. "I would have been suspicious if they'd had exactly your size," she agreed.
"He did not," she said quietly, going over to the dog to grab both of their plates. His tail wagged in delight. "You're a perfectly well behaved boy, aren't you, darling? Don't worry, you'll get some." She took their plates to the table and then went back for silverware, some of the bread they had, and to look to see if they just so happened to have butter.
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"Keep talking like that, and the crabs run a risk of getting cold," he murmured.
He arranged the crab plates conveniently for their reach while she was setting the table. He pressed a hand to his stomach when it growled audibly enough to carry. "Hush, you. It's almost time."
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Her smile was practically predatory. "And what host would I be if I sent you home hungry and unsatisfied?" She patted his arm. "Go sit. I'll get us some water and then we can dig in."
While she was busy, the dog followed Cullen to the table, eagerly anticipating his share. Hawke disappeared with two glasses and came back to set them on the table. She collected the rest of the silverware and handed them to him with a smile as she sat. "I think I've been waiting all week for this."
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He found he liked that smile, keeping that to himself for now. "It looks as good as it smells."
He took his seat because she had asked and half stood when she returned to reach for the proffered silverware. "Thank you. It does feel as though it has been longer than one night. If it's all the same, let's try for a little less excitement for the next date."
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She chuckled, sitting and grabbing one of the legs to start to pry out the meat. "Less excitement, he says, while suggesting we go together to the races. I see." She smiled. "I could go without fighting for our lives. Hopefully we'll have an easier evening next time we see one another. We'll just avoid going out after dark or lingering too long on our own."
Once she managed to pull some of the white meat out, she went to try it, a soft whine getting her attention. She frowned at the dog and popped the first piece into her mouth. "I get to have some first, you," she muttered, though she was already working out more for him. She sighed. "Maker's breath, that's actually good."
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