Entry tags:
a fishing date;
There were no impromptu trips to Sundermount, in fact. Merrill had holed herself up with the Eluvian, avoiding Hawke whenever possible. The Arulin'Holm stayed at the estate, locked away somewhere, and the Dalish woman didn't want to see or hear from Hawke without good cause. Which was understandable (upsetting, but understandable), and she let Varric and Isabela take over Merrill's undertaking. They'd update her whenever possible and she was infinitely grateful, though she knew things couldn't stay that way forever. Eventually, they'd need to talk, and that would happen when Marian was good and ready. For now, she wasn't.
First on her mind was Anders and his mage underground. He would disappear for days on end, surfacing only to work in his clinic where he would refuse to go on any errands. Too busy, he'd say, occupied with his patients and his manifesto. It didn't stop him from pressing worn papers into her hands at every opportunity, the bastard. Her desk was full of Anders' scrawl, damning evidence if anyone should walk in and ask about it. She'd been certain to lock them in the bottom drawer, out of sight and out of mind, but she couldn't put him off any more than she could push aside the trouble she had with Merrill.
With her hands full of Kirkwall's smaller troubles - bandits, a few raiders on the outskirts, and a blood mage or two - she had nearly forgotten her plans with Cullen until she returned one night to a note on her desk at the end of the week. Even such a simple thing was enough to brighten her mood considerably and she packed that evening, though she wasn't to meet him for two more days.
She used the time to tell only a few that she'd be gone from the city, that no one was kidnapping her, and that she'd be very cross if she came back to find Kirkwall burning in her absence. Only Isabela and Varric gave her a hard time for her attempts at discretion, asking for details and gaining nothing.
By sunset on the second day, she was down by the docks to meet him, a pack slung over one arm and her blades across her shoulders, her eyes on the ships and the few workers lingering around. She couldn't be too careful, even now.
First on her mind was Anders and his mage underground. He would disappear for days on end, surfacing only to work in his clinic where he would refuse to go on any errands. Too busy, he'd say, occupied with his patients and his manifesto. It didn't stop him from pressing worn papers into her hands at every opportunity, the bastard. Her desk was full of Anders' scrawl, damning evidence if anyone should walk in and ask about it. She'd been certain to lock them in the bottom drawer, out of sight and out of mind, but she couldn't put him off any more than she could push aside the trouble she had with Merrill.
With her hands full of Kirkwall's smaller troubles - bandits, a few raiders on the outskirts, and a blood mage or two - she had nearly forgotten her plans with Cullen until she returned one night to a note on her desk at the end of the week. Even such a simple thing was enough to brighten her mood considerably and she packed that evening, though she wasn't to meet him for two more days.
She used the time to tell only a few that she'd be gone from the city, that no one was kidnapping her, and that she'd be very cross if she came back to find Kirkwall burning in her absence. Only Isabela and Varric gave her a hard time for her attempts at discretion, asking for details and gaining nothing.
By sunset on the second day, she was down by the docks to meet him, a pack slung over one arm and her blades across her shoulders, her eyes on the ships and the few workers lingering around. She couldn't be too careful, even now.
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They eased past the mouth of the harbor into the open sea. He steered them slightly coastward, not close enough to run aground or hit the jagged rock jetties, but close enough to keep land in sight. It would be embarrassing to get lost. "If it does, I can think of about half a dozen people who are getting instant demotions," he said with a laugh.
He had to give that some thought, the sound of the water lapping coming back to the fore in the ensuing silence. "Sometimes I think I'd like to see the Grand Cathedral, but then I remember that it's in Orlais and I'd have to deal with Orlesians." He was only partially joking. He was just old enough to recall the tail end of the occupation. He'd never have any love of the chevaliers and their families. "Cumberland, maybe. They say it's one of the largest cities in all of Thedas. That would be something to see."
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Hawke kept an eye on the water and where he was moving the skiff, cautious of anything that might prove to be trouble. "That many?" she asked with a half-laugh. "I'm sure they'll manage without you for a bit. Hopefully. I'll have to rethink dragging you out for longer vacations, though," she teased.
She should have guessed he'd say the Grand Cathedral. She heard it was beautiful but was, ultimately, a destination she wasn't interested in for herself, mostly because it was in Orlais. She'd had enough of the few people in Kirkwall who were Orlesian in one way or another. "They'd probably call you worse names than 'filthy doglord' if you went. On the bright side, I hear they have interesting food?" Cumberland seemed the better choice. "I almost can't imagine what it must look like." Easy to get lost in, certainly, but there would probably be so many things to get involved in. "...Isn't the magi college there too?"
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"At least that many. I'm sure I could find more if I dug." His smile lingered. "Where exactly would you drag me?"
His tone shifted to something lower, just a little gruff. "I remember what they were like. Desperate to hold onto what they had stolen by any measure. Celine can mouth all the pretty platitudes she likes. It will be a cold day in the Void before any intelligent Fereldan trusts Orlais."
He shook his head as though to rid himself of the vehemence that had bubbled up. "I have a hard time imagining it, too. It's not Tevinter architecture. I don't really know what Nevarra looks like. Stone? Wood? Some combination of both? Yes, the college is there, which means no shortage of Templars to show me around. It's always nice to have someone familiar with a place to help you figure out what to see, not that I've done that much traveling that wasn't very focused business. Did you move around a lot?"
I didn't even notice!
"Where could I take you? That's the better question." Hawke turned and smirked. "I wouldn't recommended the coast or the mountains for any sort of extended stay, not unless you enjoy cutting down spiders or large, ancient guardians of the mountainside."
She frowned. "I wasn't old enough to remember. But no one I met from Ostagar was particularly willing for help from Orlais. Not even in the face of a Blight. After what happened, I don't blame them. We lost too much back then." We. She was surprised at herself. After all this time in Kirkwall, she still considered herself a Ferelden at heart.
"Both, possibly. If it's as large as it claims to be, and with all of the trade the city must get, the buildings have to be well built. Perhaps it looks like Denerim." Not that she'd been there, either. Denerim was too close to the royal seat, too many guards and too many Templars around. She chuckled. "That's an abrupt question. Yes, we moved around quite a bit when I was smaller. We didn't settle in Lothering until I was almost fifteen."
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"But it has been so long since I managed to anger a large, ancient guardian. You just want to keep all the fun to yourself." He glanced off to the side in an effort to stave off his smirk to no avail.
"Oh, I hope not. Denerim is so crowded and half falling down in most places. Well, it was before the Blight. I don't know what they managed to do with it after the rebuilding." His smile inched higher. "We were talking about traveling. It hit me that you probably did a lot of it. The leap made sense in my head, at least. I don't know much about Lothering. It's a farming community, right?"
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She shook her head, glancing back at the water every now and then. "We kept our heads out of Denerim. I always had the impression it would be nicer, what with the King and Queen there." Until Ostagar, of course. She smiled. "That's right. Lothering was composed of farmers and a few merchants here and there, mostly those who traveled as well. Everyone knew everyone there. No chances of hiding."
A faint chuckle escaped her. "But by then, my father was very good at hiding himself and Bethany. There was always danger but we were careful and well protected. Carver and I looked out for Bethany. She was never any trouble, though." Bethany never liked being a mage, it seemed. She did everything she could to seem 'normal'.
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"There are sections of Denerim that are nicer, yes, but the slums are every bit as bad as Kirkwall's, if not worse from falling down." The dock's district made Kirkwall's look like a walk in a park from what he recalled. However it had been nearly two decades since he had seen it. Perhaps things had changed for the better.
"I've never lived anywhere that small, unless you count the tower. There's something both nice and horrifying about everyone knowing everyone. It's almost impossible to keep a secret. It's impressive that all of you were able to do it somewhere like that."
He squinted into the darkness ahead of them. "We're looking for a tall, crooked rock outcropping. There's supposed to be an inlet past it that dips into the coastline fairly far. As long as we don't go past the cliffs, my friend assures me that even if the tide goes out, we won't be stranded. I'll need your help spotting it."
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As per his instructions, she stood to keep a better eye out for the outcropping, eyes scanning the darkness as she spoke. "Sounds exactly like Kirkwall, actually. Lovely buildings Hightown, terrible and dirty residences in Darktown. Perhaps I'll skip Denerim if I ever find myself back in Ferelden." She could just stay in Kirkwall if that was all it had to offer.
She gave him a quick glance over her shoulder before she went back to her job. "Horrifying is right. We'd never know when someone was coming to our doorstep to ask for sugar or to ask if we were a family of apostates. Or that a knock in the night wasn't the Templars on our doorstep." It had been frightening until they fell into routine but even then, no one could relax. Not really.
Hawke narrowed her eyes and then looked back at him. "I think that's our target," she called, pointing over to a dark, crooked shadow in the darkness.
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"It has its charms. I don't mean to sell it short. At least there the nobility won't be tripping all over themselves to ingratiate themselves to you. That would be a novel change, right?" He kept his watch out ahead while they spoke.
He felt a small stab of guilt at hearing that, irrational in a way. He believed Templars protected the citizens of Thedas, mages too. Yet, it was difficult to know that in that act of protection, they made others' lives difficult and tense. "You're surprisingly open minded toward Templars for having gone through all of that." He wouldn't have blamed her if she hated them on sight, him in particular after he took her sister.
It took another moment or two before he saw it. "I think you're right. If you want to go ahead and lower the sail and tie it, I'm going to row us the rest of the way. This wind is too brisk for me to trust my tacking through a narrow inlet."
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Hawke laughed quietly. "That alone might get me to go, just you wait and see." Barely Champion for a month and she almost wished it was two years ago, when she'd gotten the Amell estate for her mother and all was somewhat right with the world. Almost.
"My father never hated the Templars. He was just wary of them, and understandably so. The Templars in Lothering were good folk. Ser Bryant looked out for the people, took care of the Revered Mother and the people who came to the Chantry looking for help. After Ostagar..." She stopped, frowning distantly at the water. "When Carver and I scraped ourselves together and came running back to Lothering, there were already so many refugees in the city. Too many." She stepped away from her post to get to work on the sail, to distract her fingers and herself from the emotions that came sweeping back with the memories.
"Ser Bryant refused to leave. The Chantry was filled to bursting and he wouldn't go. He had the other Templars out directing people, doing what they could to help." She pulled the sail taut and tied it, working diligently on the knot. "The Templars are an order that has a purpose. Some within it may be corrupt or may be cruel, but that's the kind of people they are. It has nothing to do with their occupation." Being part of the order simply set them up to be in a position where those sorts of people could use their influence and cruelty on others.
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"It has to be tiring and annoying. People who wouldn't give you the time of day suddenly falling all over themselves now that you have influence." He could have said a good deal more, choosing to hold it back. He didn't want to turn the subject around to himself and his experiences with Kirkwall's elite.
"I heard...lots of things." Frustrating things out of the Blight. So many Templars had gone to fight, answered the call to arms, while he cooled his heels in far off Greenfell. It didn't surprise him at all that the Chantry there did what it could to save the others, a doomed effort. He could tell from her look and tone it wasn't a good topic of conversation.
He wrestled the oars into the oarlocks and resumed rowing. The sun was fully set now, and it would be a little while before moon rise. They were stuck with the lantern. He intended to shutter it once they were in place with the traps set. There was no sense in making themselves easy targets in a salt marsh.
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Hawke rolled her eyes, taking her position at the front of the skiff again to make certain they weren't going to scrape up against anything. "It is. I was lucky that my mother fielded most of the people wanting to see me simply because I had status. Now, it's a little more difficult. Why do you think I'm never home?" she said with a sly wink. It wasn't the real reason but it was enough of one to keep the conversation out of darker implications.
"I'm certain you did," she replied, tone sobered. "It was...a shame." The word barely scratched the surface but it was enough. If she started to think about all of the losses they suffered, she'd have to think about Carver too, and she didn't want to. Hawke lifted her head and paused, casting her gaze just off of the skiff. "Careful on the right side. It's hard to tell if those are rocks or not," she said.
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"Do you think if I stayed out of the Gallows, I could avoid my own annoyances?" he asked. He had his suspicions that her mother's death had a lot to do with her restlessness and staying on the move. He wasn't about to touch on that out here or now. Better to keep that part of the conversation light.
He nodded. Any other words, and they'd veer into the bitter territory of Loghain's betrayal, the loss of Cailan, and more personal losses. "Thank you," he said a little absently, veering the skiff to avoid the dark shapes. At least they weren't moving.
Marsh grass rose to either side of the narrow inlet, muffling the lap of the waves and hissing softly in the breeze coming off the land. He decided this was a good place to drop anchor, secured the oars, and moved to do just that. "The traps are under the center bench, close to the mast. If you want to get them out, I'll get the bait. I'll apologize ahead of time. It's rank, but supposedly the crabs love the stuff."
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She snorted in amusement. "Possibly. ...No, actually, probably not. If you stayed out of the Gallows, you'd come back to even more complaints and questions, and people would ask why you were never around." She smiled in sympathy. "But I imagine, even in Lowtown, you would have people asking for your help and bending over backwards to accommodate you...when they weren't slamming a door in your face." Ah, back to bitter topics. She quickly added: "Don't worry. I get a few of those too, with a 'doglord' thrown in for good measure."
As he stood, so did she, going to the bench and looking underneath it for the traps. She pulled them out, casting him a glance over her shoulder. "I hesitate to ask what the bait actually is, with that description."
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"So basically, I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. I suppose I might as well stay, then. Less walking around that way." He chuckled, pausing in his rummaging in the stern to glance at her over his shoulder. "That's my favorite one. Doglord. As though any Fereldan would ever take being associated with dogs as an insult. They don't understand us in the least."
He pulled out a small pot and something flat that turned out to be a putty knife. "Rancid fat straight from a forgotten kitchen container. Crab ambrosia. You, uh, might want to move upwind from me. This is going to be bad for a few minutes." Each trap had a small, open topped metal container in the bottom. Cullen took a deep breath, held it, opened the pot, and started slapping smears of the fat into the traps a knife full at a time. "Oh, Maker's breath, that's foul," he gasped, his eyes starting to water.
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"Exactly. I imagine it's sometimes boring in the Gallows, standing around all day, though." On a good day, that is. She laughed, setting the traps down on the bed of the skiff. "How can they? We take our mabari very seriously, after all. It's even better when they say it to me when I have my dog with me."
Hawke tilted her head to watch him, making a face when he opened the pot. She took his advice and stepped away. "Maker's breath," she cursed quietly. "Oh, that's ripe." Hawkes are not fishermen, it seemed. Not this one, anyway. "Who thinks of using that for bait?"
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"It's often boring in the Gallows. The times that it isn't make you really appreciate the times that it is." He laughed at the mental image of people yelling "doglord" when Hawke was out and about with the dog. "That's perfect. I doubt they recognize the irony."
He didn't try to speak again until he had the traps filled and thrown overboard. They all had air filled bladders tied to them on thin ropes to mark where they came to rest in the muddy bottom. Once the pot was closed and the putty knife scraped against the side below the water line, the stench faded. "This sounds morbid, but my bet would be people who noticed crabs swarming carcasses or corpses. Someone made the leap, and people have been using rancid fat ever since."
He tucked the bait pot away with the knife and dug out a couple of bottles of ale from his nearby pack. Turning, he offered one to her. "This should help clear the rest of the smell."
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She snorted. "It never rains but it pours, is that what you're saying?" She'd believe it, too. The Gallows were always quiet when she was there unless there was a serious problem, and it was never something simple like a missing bag of herbs. "One day, they might. When they're on the other end of his jaws."
Hawke watched him with the back of her hand pressed to her nose, waiting until he sent the traps overboard to take a deep breath. She coughed once. "That is morbid...but probably very accurate." Isabela might know but she wasn't so certain she wanted to hear what the real explanation might be.
She lifted a brow and took one of the bottles, smiling. "Oh, so I wasn't the only one who brought some. I brought a bottle of Antivan brandy with me for us to share." She uncorked the bottle and sniffed just to get the stench of the bait out of her senses. "Much better. Thank you." She took a long drink for good measure.
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"That's about the size of it, yes. Feast or famine. There are never really small crises, just some less troublesome than others." It was then that the grin turned a little wicked. "I've been fortunate that the few times I've had the chance to fight with Mabari, it was with them on our side and not the other way around."
He uncorked his bottle and mirrored her actions, taking a deep, long inhale and sighing in relief. "Antivan brandy. I'm impressed. I hope you plan on helping me steer the skiff back in the morning if we get too deep into that." He had brought quite a few ales. "I also brought some food. Nothing fancy but enough to keep us from getting completely in our cups out here while we wait." He took a swig from his bottle and moved to pull his pack out the rest of the way.
A little arranging had it set up against one of the bench seats in the bottom of the boat for leaning. "If you want to get comfortable," he offered. He carefully stepped to the bow so that he could shutter the lantern, leaning out precariously over the prow to do it. It had the effect of seeming to plunge them into pitch black. He knew once his eyes adjusted, the starlight would be sufficient.
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She smirked over at him as she went to grab that bottle too, just to take it out. "Oh, I'm supposed to stay sober tonight, then? Have you ever had any before?" She set the bottle down and took a seat on the bench. "We passed a bottle around once when we were playing Wicked Grace. Strong stuff." And perfectly able to knock a mage and a Brother off their feet. "Smart that you brought food. I brought a little bit of bread, myself. Just to make certain I had something to offset the liquor."
The darkness wasn't so bad when the lantern went out. It gave her time to look up at the sky, to let her eyes become accustomed to the small lights there. Without the moon, it made everything seem darker than it was. "Careful that you don't trip on the way back here," she called.
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"What's his name? I just realized I never asked." He didn't see the dog very often. It always felt like a treat when he did. Rare was the Fereldan who didn't revere the famous war hounds.
"Not totally sober. Maybe as long as the two of us are only half drunk, the sober halves can steer the boat together." He nodded before realizing she probably couldn't see it. "I've had it. It knocked me on my arse. Good thing I'll already be sitting tonight."
He waited until his eyes adjusted a little before attempting it, carefully stepping over the front bench and spotting the gleam of the bottle well before he was in kicking range. He gave it berth and worked around to sink to a seat beside her, shoulder to shoulder in the small space. "Much better. I'm always half afraid when I'm walking around in a boat that I'm going to tip it. It feels that way."
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He didn't see the dog much because he was usually with Aveline or her mother. Or at home, causing trouble. "If I said his name was 'Precious', would you laugh at me?" She tried to keep a straight face, ultimately failing. "His name is Maxwell. Carver said I should call him 'Killer' but my mother wasn't having any of it. She said I couldn't introduce people to my dog if his name was Killer." A shame, too, because it would fit a war hound.
"Antivan brandy, the weakness of the Knight-Captain. I'll make certain the both of us don't have too much, then," she teased. "And hopefully the Maker will let me steer well in the morning if there's a problem otherwise."
Hawke waited until he was sitting, shoulder against hers, before she spoke again. She didn't want to distract him while he was finding his way. "You might if you were wearing armor," she joked. "It does seem fragile, though. It felt like that even on the ship from Ferelden to Kirkwall, though. Just a few boards of wood separating you from the waves."
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He was very glad he wasn't drinking when she said that. They'd both be wearing ale. "I'd laugh without a trace of shame." He laughed a little harder than before. "But Killer is an excellent name for a Mabari," he protested. "Maxwell is nice. It sounds distinguished."
He shrugged lightly. "Truth told, any alcohol is a bit of a weakness for me. I don't drink a lot habitually so a little goes a long way." He had been teased on more than one occasion for being such a lightweight when he was a large man. He took it all in stride.
"Armor and boats. Just mark that down in the 'will never happen' list when it comes to me. I can swim just fine unencumbered. I don't want to test how much weight I can hold up before sinking like a stone."
He switched his bottle to his off hand so that he wouldn't constantly be bothering her by shifting against her while drinking. "I took a ship from Amaranthine. Three days at sea. It seemed like one of the longest trips of my life. I don't like ships. Boats are all right. You sailed out of...Gwaren, right? I seem to recall hearing that. Maker's Breath, that must have been a ...what? Two week journey?"
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She snorted quietly. "I wouldn't have minded calling him Killer. I think she was afraid for my social life. 'Lovely to see you this evening, sir. Have you met my Mabari, Killer? He'd love to meet you.'" It would have been terribly entertaining. "Max is simple enough that he'll come when I call and it doesn't sound too stuffy at the end of the day. ...Though, he does answer to a myriad of other names. I think it's the tone."
Hawke reached over to pat his shoulder as though she was sorry for him, but the grin at her lips said otherwise. "Need to build up a tolerance to that. Just a little." Although...seeing him intoxicated might make for some fun memories.
"This is why I'm perfectly content in what armor I have, frankly. I don't envy you." She took another drink. "Two weeks with other refugees and a Mabari down in the cargo hold. It was a nightmare." At least misery loved company. She and Aveline bonded for those two weeks. "I would rather not repeat the trip at any point. Really." She wasn't necessarily seasick but there were too many people, too many smells. It frayed her nerves more than anything else. "Let's stick to boats, you and I."
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"Oh? Do I now?" He shot her a mock suspicious look. "Are you planning to liquor me up on a regular basis?" He took a swig from his bottle almost as though to punctuate the query.
"That does sound like a nightmare. I like your plan. No ships for us," he said, reaching to clack his bottle against hers. "Boats all the way." He settled down a little further against the pack so he could tip his head back without completely craning his neck. "Aside from the initial unpleasantness of the bait, I have to say crabbing is the way to go."
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anytime you'd like to work, internet. :V
Ugh, fun times.
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Power outages suck.
Oh, ick.
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