romdeau | a fishing date;

"Would laughing on the inside count while I was dragging you out?" he asked, stifling his smile. "We could share a look, and I'd get to keep my job."

They were nearing the mouth of the harbor, the straights that would take them out into the wider sea and give them access to the coast. Fortunately, no large ships were inbound or outbound, giving them a clear shot. "I...suppose I could assign them to that. I usually don't. The Knight-Commander writes the letter of condolence, and I deliver it. I believe the least we can do for the families is use the rank to let them know it matters to us. Sending a Lieutenant or someone lower in rank doesn't seem right for that."

He smiled faintly, a little surprised by her reaction. He could have sworn he had told her about that, but thinking back on it, he couldn't recall how specific he might have been at the time. "Yes, really. I wasn't yet a Knight, although I became one shortly after. "I don't know how personally you might say. Templars and mages at Kinloch Hold were discouraged from closely fraternizing. We did talk occasionally, though." Enough for him to get attached. The vagaries of youth. He shook his head, his expression a little wry.

"I could live with that. I wouldn't want you to lose your position over something I did, anyway, especially when it's as asinine as calling myself a stir stick for trouble." She lifted an eyebrow, still grinning.

The smirk quickly faltered and she shook her head. "I wasn't suggesting that. I... I don't think it would be right either. I didn't know how it worked, though." But that still meant he was delivering the bad news to families who had already thought their child or sibling had been carted off to a cruel fate. "I wouldn't wish that duty on newer recruits or you. Or anyone." The worst jobs she'd done involved telling people that their friends or loved ones were dead. She still remembered the incident with the women and Quentin.

"I never met her. Or...I might have, but I must have been young." Her lips twisted thoughtfully. They'd been running for so long that there was no way she could have met Solona before she'd been taken to the tower. "No, I couldn't have. You knew her better than I did, regardless." Hawke gave him a curious look, leaning forward. "What was she like?"

"Then if it ever comes to pass, we'll do that. I'll make a dramatic show of dragging you out, and once our backs are to her, I'll wink." It was such a ridiculous notion it felt safe to contemplate. He didn't think he'd ever be in that position. Hawke was smarter than that.

"It's one of my least favorite parts of the job." It was as equally unpleasant as what started it all off, barging into someone's home and taking their child by force when they weren't willing to bring them to the Circle on their own. He had heard every accusation under the sun, some of them that hit home. They promised mages would be safer in the Circle. It was often true but not always. No Templar could truly give such a guarantee, no mage a binding promise that they'd never succumb. It was the unfortunate truth of it.

He realized he had grown too quiet for too long and rallied at her question. Fortunately, he didn't have to force a change of demeanor, even if the memories would forever be tainted by what came afterward. "Impulsive and headstrong. Loyal to her friends to a fault, although I have a hard time looking upon such a quality as a flaw. It did more harm to her than to anyone else. It was how she was conscripted. I didn't find out until after the fact. They were gone by then." The next time he had seen her, he was caged and said some terrible things. He regretted that part to this day.

"She wasn't unlike you in that respect. It must run in the family."

She couldn't help the laugh that escaped her. It was too ridiculous to ever go through, but Maker knows it still sounded fun.

"I don't blame you. I can't imagine it." She couldn't even imagine coming home to tell her own mother when one of her siblings was injured at any point, to say nothing of others. She remembered he once said that people would just as soon slam a door in his face than put him up for the night. The Templars were feared and reviled almost as much as mages themselves. It was so different from Ferelden in that respect, though she was certain the Gallows and their statues of slaves had a bit to do with the Templars' image.

Solona Amell sounded like too many people in her family. She thought of her father first, strangely enough, though she smiled when he compared her to her cousin. "Oh, it's a family trait. Amells are known for their impulsiveness and stubborn streaks. We either rise to become Champions or squander away our family's estate," she said wryly. "Mages and Wardens and Champions."

"It never gets easier." Not that he believed that it should. If it ever became easy to tell a family they had lost a loved one, it was past time for him to retire and give the mantle to someone less jaded.

"Fortunately for Thedas she's more the champion sort than the squanderer." He knew enough of Gamlen Amell to find it hard to believe the man was related to Hawke and her sister, to Solona more distantly. However, he had better manners than to speak ill of the man unprovoked.

"At any rate, I couldn't really say I know her now at all. We haven't spoken in years. I can't imagine that her time with the Wardens hasn't changed her tremendously. I can't envision any reason she'd have for coming to Kirkwall any time soon." He chuckled and shrugged off the darker thoughts. They were the product of another time, a time that had little bearing on what they were doing now.

"Unfortunately." And she hoped, as he did, that it never would. She would never want to be flippant with family members, at ease with giving them news like that. "But it always falls to you."

She chuckled. "Oh, I've no doubt. It was almost laughable, hearing that the Blight was ended by an Amell." She had almost been afraid of her mother wanting to go home for that reason alone, after she and Bethany had been clawing through their servitude to get to where they were. "It must be Amell women, I think. I can't speak highly of the men, not when I only have my uncle to go on."

Her cousin in Kirkwall. That would be a sight. A mage Grey Warden, sweeping in to see her long lost family in the Free Marches. Oh, she could almost imagine Meredith's face. That would be even better than a comment about being a rabble-rouser. "...If she didn't come with the other Wardens when Kirkwall was attacked, then I hesitate to think what could bring her here." She was in a position of authority now, or so she heard. A shame; Hawke wanted to meet her one day.

"Meredith and I. She takes no pleasure in writing those letters." He knew why. Sometimes it was difficult not being able to say something that would mitigate the harsh opinions and help others to understand. He knew she wouldn't thank him for it, would view it as a violation of her confidence. So he stayed silent and in turn didn't hold it against others when they saw only what she allowed. That stoicism of hers was a double edged sword.

"It's funny hearing that from the Champion of Kirkwall." He was teasing her, yes, but there was respect behind the light tone, something deep seated in his eyes when he glanced her way. "It shouldn't be such a surprise. I suppose during that time you didn't yet know what you could do."

His smile canted toward something more abstract. "Maybe desire to see family? The Wardens don't allow much of that, though, from what I understand." He doubted she knew he was there at all, probably for the best. There would be nothing to say beyond an awkward, I'm sorry.

The glow of the water faded away to slate shadow as the sun fell behind the skyline of Kirkwall. He could feel the wind beginning to turn, blowing from land toward the sea. It was time to hoist the small sail. He stood and moved to do it while he had the light to see.

"Yes, the both of you, carrying that weight." Both respect and sympathy mingled in her tone, even if she'd never breathe a word of it to Meredith. The Knight-Commander could be cold when she wanted to be, but she didn't deserve that burden any more than he did. She needed to remember that the other woman was a person, too, and not just a fearsome title.

She moved to go secure the lantern, casting him a wry glance over her shoulder. "I had very little choice in the matter, if you'll recall. And I'm almost certain that her victory was much more dignified than mine." Slaying dragons was also more impressive than fending off rampaging Qunari by skirting around pillars. "My family has a very nasty habit of stumbling into things and getting involved."

Hawke cast her eyes out to the water, watching it shrewdly while he worked. "I suppose it'd be nice to meet her. We could compare embarrassing stories and scars, even," she teased. "But I think I would have to go back to Ferelden to do so." And that wasn't in the cards. Not right then, not with Bethany in the Gallows.

"If not us then someone else. It's the way it has been for centuries now. In the face of that, I find it difficult to complain," he said. He hadn't specifically set out for that duty or for many others that had befallen him. The young recruits never put that much thought into such things, nor did they have that much knowledge of what it entailed. He didn't think he'd have chosen any differently, nonetheless.

"Dignified?" That earned a soft snort of a laugh. "Show me any fight to the death where anyone has the luxury of being dignified, and I'll show you a dreadfully overbalanced fight that probably should never have happened in the first place." Maybe dragons swallowed people down their gullets with dignity. For the rest of them it was the mad scramble, the rush of adrenaline, skill, timing, and often dumb luck. "You did what needed to be done. If anyone there has a problem with how you looked, I certainly haven't heard it."

He had the sail run up and trimmed with just a little fumbling, then headed to the back of the boat to take a seat and set a hand to the tiller. With the direction of the wind, he didn't think he'd need to do much tacking until they wanted to find the inlet his friend had told him about. "You know, it's really not much of a trip between Kirkwall and Amaranthine. Maybe a week full round. I don't know if she's still there. That was the last I had heard. I imagine if you wrote the castellan of Vigil's Keep you could find out for certain."

If people knew that, maybe there wouldn't be so much fear or hate against the Knight-Commander. "You're a good man." And, with small reluctance, she added: "And she is to be commended as well, duty or no."

Hawke tilted her head back to look at him, laughing. "I've had smoother battles to the death before. I'm surprised I'm Champion with how embarrassing that fight was, to be honest. And you weren't there to see it." And neither were Meredith or Orsino, thank the Maker. That would have been worse. "But it could have been worse. Maybe." Like her mother being there.

She turned herself back to look at the sail, half-smiling. She took her place at the front to watch for trouble, her eyes on the waves and on anything dark and suspicious that could get in their way. "I could. It's an idea." But even meeting her cousin and taking a trip seemed far off for her. "There are things I need to do," she said noncommittally. That was a good enough excuse, right? "What about you? Is there anything you'd leave Kirkwall for? Family, friends?" She smiled. "Vacation?"

He ducked his head slightly for the compliment. "It's kind of you to say." It was strange to realize he had become more accustomed to criticism than praise since coming to the Marches, at least when it came from outside the order.

"No, I wasn't. I regret that it took us so long to break through." It had been an unbelievably tense night, wondering what they'd find when they finally breached the keep's defenses, whether it would be a room of dead Marchers and enraged Qunari or disaster averted. He was infinitely glad of the latter and wouldn't have cared had she accomplished it wearing a jester's suit.

"Ah, yes. Things," he said knowingly, his smile in his voice.

In the second breath he was more serious. "I'm not in touch with anyone from Ferelden anymore. It's...discouraged. Maybe not as strongly as for the Wardens, but it is. As for vacation, I wouldn't know what to do with myself. I guess I have things here, too." Primarily, he was concerned about Meredith's ratcheting up the rhetoric and harsh measures even by her standards. He assumed it was stress. If there was anything he could do to ease it, he intended to. If he left Kirkwall and came back to Orsino hanging in the Gallows courtyard or worse, he didn't think he'd ever forgive himself.

Oh, that was almost cute. She said nothing, though her smile probably gave away her thoughts.

Hawke took another careful glance over one of the sides before she turned back to him and shook her head. "I preferred it that way. Embarrassment aside, the Arishok would only fight me. Had Orsino and Meredith been there, they would have stepped in, and I don't like contemplating what might have happened." It was bad enough that Isabela could have been taken. "Better that it worked out as it did, even if it would have been marvelous to be fighting alongside the First Enchanter and the Knight-Commander." After watching them distract the Qunari, Hawke found herself admiring and respecting the both of them for their prowess.

"Yes. Things." She would be lying if she said she was rushing to go back to Ferelden. Her only family was in Kirkwall, her friends and the people she cared for. If Lothering was still standing, that would be another story entirely. She might have gone back for pieces of her family's legacy, anything of her father's. But not now. "See, you have things too." She smirked. "And if I left, the city would be too quiet."

The quality of that smile had one of his own playing at the corners of his mouth. He was glad she didn't say whatever she might have been thinking. He didn't completely trust himself not to blush.

"Yes, they would've. I imagine the one on one duel would have become an all out bloodbath. Still, I felt like we let you down that night. I didn't like how long it took us to get there." It was all said and done, though, and he could think of no way the larger group could have gained entrance any more quickly than they did. The distraction had been the way to go.

He chuffed a half laugh. "And if I left it wouldn't be quiet enough. So it's good we're staying. We're balancing things out."

"You all were lovely distractions, if that helps any," she said with a slightly sheepish smile. "Not that I wanted you as distractions in the first place but I couldn't have asked for better people to back me up. I think we would have been in more trouble if we were fighting and reinforcements arrived for them. You did fine."

She shifted her seated position so she could watch the water and still keep him in her sights. "Perfect. Now we'll just need to hope that nothing goes wrong while we're both gone for a short while." Nothing would, of course, but it was amusing enough to think the balance of the great city of Kirkwall rested solely on one Templar and her.

"Where would you go, though? In an ideal situation, if you could leave Kirkwall, where would you want to go?"

"Probably one of the only times you'll ever have occasion to see Meredith and Orsino in anything resembling accord," he said, "if we're lucky. Anything big enough to bring them together is something to worry about."

They eased past the mouth of the harbor into the open sea. He steered them slightly coastward, not close enough to run aground or hit the jagged rock jetties, but close enough to keep land in sight. It would be embarrassing to get lost. "If it does, I can think of about half a dozen people who are getting instant demotions," he said with a laugh.

He had to give that some thought, the sound of the water lapping coming back to the fore in the ensuing silence. "Sometimes I think I'd like to see the Grand Cathedral, but then I remember that it's in Orlais and I'd have to deal with Orlesians." He was only partially joking. He was just old enough to recall the tail end of the occupation. He'd never have any love of the chevaliers and their families. "Cumberland, maybe. They say it's one of the largest cities in all of Thedas. That would be something to see."

"They make a good team when they aren't tearing at each other's throats." She almost likened them to Fenris and Anders, though the circumstances were much more volatile when it came to Orsino and Meredith. Better to hope that they could one day agree on a few things to keep Kirkwall under control.

Hawke kept an eye on the water and where he was moving the skiff, cautious of anything that might prove to be trouble. "That many?" she asked with a half-laugh. "I'm sure they'll manage without you for a bit. Hopefully. I'll have to rethink dragging you out for longer vacations, though," she teased.

She should have guessed he'd say the Grand Cathedral. She heard it was beautiful but was, ultimately, a destination she wasn't interested in for herself, mostly because it was in Orlais. She'd had enough of the few people in Kirkwall who were Orlesian in one way or another. "They'd probably call you worse names than 'filthy doglord' if you went. On the bright side, I hear they have interesting food?" Cumberland seemed the better choice. "I almost can't imagine what it must look like." Easy to get lost in, certainly, but there would probably be so many things to get involved in. "...Isn't the magi college there too?"

"They do. They're more alike than they care to see. Of course, that's part of the problem. Few people enjoy mirrors when they encounter them in others." He wondered how he would react to someone very like himself. Would he even notice, or would they both be so buried in their work they'd hardly cross paths? That was an amusing thought.

"At least that many. I'm sure I could find more if I dug." His smile lingered. "Where exactly would you drag me?"

His tone shifted to something lower, just a little gruff. "I remember what they were like. Desperate to hold onto what they had stolen by any measure. Celine can mouth all the pretty platitudes she likes. It will be a cold day in the Void before any intelligent Fereldan trusts Orlais."

He shook his head as though to rid himself of the vehemence that had bubbled up. "I have a hard time imagining it, too. It's not Tevinter architecture. I don't really know what Nevarra looks like. Stone? Wood? Some combination of both? Yes, the college is there, which means no shortage of Templars to show me around. It's always nice to have someone familiar with a place to help you figure out what to see, not that I've done that much traveling that wasn't very focused business. Did you move around a lot?"

Edited (I can spell. Really. :|) 2012-08-03 21:36 (UTC)

There was a wry smile on her lips. "How true. I have two of them back in Kirkwall." She didn't know how she'd react if she ever met someone like her.

"Where could I take you? That's the better question." Hawke turned and smirked. "I wouldn't recommended the coast or the mountains for any sort of extended stay, not unless you enjoy cutting down spiders or large, ancient guardians of the mountainside."

She frowned. "I wasn't old enough to remember. But no one I met from Ostagar was particularly willing for help from Orlais. Not even in the face of a Blight. After what happened, I don't blame them. We lost too much back then." We. She was surprised at herself. After all this time in Kirkwall, she still considered herself a Ferelden at heart.

"Both, possibly. If it's as large as it claims to be, and with all of the trade the city must get, the buildings have to be well built. Perhaps it looks like Denerim." Not that she'd been there, either. Denerim was too close to the royal seat, too many guards and too many Templars around. She chuckled. "That's an abrupt question. Yes, we moved around quite a bit when I was smaller. We didn't settle in Lothering until I was almost fifteen."

He had an idea he knew exactly whom she was talking about. Neither the elf nor the healer made any secret of their opinions, both of them extremists if not outright fanatics. He didn't envy Hawke the trips where both of them accompanied her together.

"But it has been so long since I managed to anger a large, ancient guardian. You just want to keep all the fun to yourself." He glanced off to the side in an effort to stave off his smirk to no avail.

"Oh, I hope not. Denerim is so crowded and half falling down in most places. Well, it was before the Blight. I don't know what they managed to do with it after the rebuilding." His smile inched higher. "We were talking about traveling. It hit me that you probably did a lot of it. The leap made sense in my head, at least. I don't know much about Lothering. It's a farming community, right?"

"Oh, well, if that's the case, I'll bring you along next time. We'll awaken some sort of ancient power, I'm certain, and then you can have your fun." She smiled right back at him. "I'll even let you have the first strike," she said, setting her chin in her hand. "Promise."

She shook her head, glancing back at the water every now and then. "We kept our heads out of Denerim. I always had the impression it would be nicer, what with the King and Queen there." Until Ostagar, of course. She smiled. "That's right. Lothering was composed of farmers and a few merchants here and there, mostly those who traveled as well. Everyone knew everyone there. No chances of hiding."

A faint chuckle escaped her. "But by then, my father was very good at hiding himself and Bethany. There was always danger but we were careful and well protected. Carver and I looked out for Bethany. She was never any trouble, though." Bethany never liked being a mage, it seemed. She did everything she could to seem 'normal'.

"How could I possibly turn down an offer like that? Bring along Fenris and the prince, and we'll bore the ancient power until its ears bleed with our political and religious talk. It will be a novel slaying." Normally he wasn't too bad about it until he wound up around someone of similar interests.

"There are sections of Denerim that are nicer, yes, but the slums are every bit as bad as Kirkwall's, if not worse from falling down." The dock's district made Kirkwall's look like a walk in a park from what he recalled. However it had been nearly two decades since he had seen it. Perhaps things had changed for the better.

"I've never lived anywhere that small, unless you count the tower. There's something both nice and horrifying about everyone knowing everyone. It's almost impossible to keep a secret. It's impressive that all of you were able to do it somewhere like that."

He squinted into the darkness ahead of them. "We're looking for a tall, crooked rock outcropping. There's supposed to be an inlet past it that dips into the coastline fairly far. As long as we don't go past the cliffs, my friend assures me that even if the tide goes out, we won't be stranded. I'll need your help spotting it."

"My ears would be bleeding by the end of all of that, thank you. But that would probably work, sad to say," she joked back at him.

As per his instructions, she stood to keep a better eye out for the outcropping, eyes scanning the darkness as she spoke. "Sounds exactly like Kirkwall, actually. Lovely buildings Hightown, terrible and dirty residences in Darktown. Perhaps I'll skip Denerim if I ever find myself back in Ferelden." She could just stay in Kirkwall if that was all it had to offer.

She gave him a quick glance over her shoulder before she went back to her job. "Horrifying is right. We'd never know when someone was coming to our doorstep to ask for sugar or to ask if we were a family of apostates. Or that a knock in the night wasn't the Templars on our doorstep." It had been frightening until they fell into routine but even then, no one could relax. Not really.

Hawke narrowed her eyes and then looked back at him. "I think that's our target," she called, pointing over to a dark, crooked shadow in the darkness.

"It could be worse. Bring Anders and Guard-Captain Aveline, and we'll spend the whole way sniping." He had nothing personally against the Guard-Captain. It was thanks to politics that they often found themselves unwittingly at odds.

"It has its charms. I don't mean to sell it short. At least there the nobility won't be tripping all over themselves to ingratiate themselves to you. That would be a novel change, right?" He kept his watch out ahead while they spoke.

He felt a small stab of guilt at hearing that, irrational in a way. He believed Templars protected the citizens of Thedas, mages too. Yet, it was difficult to know that in that act of protection, they made others' lives difficult and tense. "You're surprisingly open minded toward Templars for having gone through all of that." He wouldn't have blamed her if she hated them on sight, him in particular after he took her sister.

It took another moment or two before he saw it. "I think you're right. If you want to go ahead and lower the sail and tie it, I'm going to row us the rest of the way. This wind is too brisk for me to trust my tacking through a narrow inlet."

She bit her tongue to keep from mentioning Merrill. 'Bringing along the blood mage' would most definitely sour the mood. "Almost as bad. I should get Varric to tag along too, so we can at least keep some conversation while the three of you go at it."

Hawke laughed quietly. "That alone might get me to go, just you wait and see." Barely Champion for a month and she almost wished it was two years ago, when she'd gotten the Amell estate for her mother and all was somewhat right with the world. Almost.

"My father never hated the Templars. He was just wary of them, and understandably so. The Templars in Lothering were good folk. Ser Bryant looked out for the people, took care of the Revered Mother and the people who came to the Chantry looking for help. After Ostagar..." She stopped, frowning distantly at the water. "When Carver and I scraped ourselves together and came running back to Lothering, there were already so many refugees in the city. Too many." She stepped away from her post to get to work on the sail, to distract her fingers and herself from the emotions that came sweeping back with the memories.

"Ser Bryant refused to leave. The Chantry was filled to bursting and he wouldn't go. He had the other Templars out directing people, doing what they could to help." She pulled the sail taut and tied it, working diligently on the knot. "The Templars are an order that has a purpose. Some within it may be corrupt or may be cruel, but that's the kind of people they are. It has nothing to do with their occupation." Being part of the order simply set them up to be in a position where those sorts of people could use their influence and cruelty on others.

"He might manage to distract all of us enough to keep us civil." Of the three, Cullen was the least likely to get openly combative verbally unless really pushed to it. He wasn't a volatile sort.

"It has to be tiring and annoying. People who wouldn't give you the time of day suddenly falling all over themselves now that you have influence." He could have said a good deal more, choosing to hold it back. He didn't want to turn the subject around to himself and his experiences with Kirkwall's elite.

"I heard...lots of things." Frustrating things out of the Blight. So many Templars had gone to fight, answered the call to arms, while he cooled his heels in far off Greenfell. It didn't surprise him at all that the Chantry there did what it could to save the others, a doomed effort. He could tell from her look and tone it wasn't a good topic of conversation.

He wrestled the oars into the oarlocks and resumed rowing. The sun was fully set now, and it would be a little while before moon rise. They were stuck with the lantern. He intended to shutter it once they were in place with the traps set. There was no sense in making themselves easy targets in a salt marsh.

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I didn't even notice!

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